somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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