dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
