I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
