Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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