Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
