you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
