If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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