I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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