the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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