just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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