This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The struggles of a small town man whore
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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