Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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