new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
