just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
