just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
