our cab driver is having phone sex.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize