I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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