At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
