Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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