imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
