Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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