We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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