CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
