Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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