I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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