You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
