I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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