Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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