He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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