Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
