whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
