that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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