Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
