you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
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please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
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No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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