well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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