you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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