were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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