Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
