is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
