I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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