Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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