dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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