Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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