if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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