I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
