It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Blood and glitter go together right?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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