dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
