Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
