THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize