so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
