I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
