when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
