i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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