The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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