And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
