I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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