one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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