Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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