honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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