were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
