i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
