it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
