I murdered the dance floor call the cops
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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