You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize