dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
